Jelousy

Jealousy…

…is the present time fear…of a future time loss.

Jealousy is fear of loss….and fear is the poison of the mind. It immobilizes you, leaving you powerless to respond to your life with certainty, which feeds your natural feelings of abandonment.

So, if you find yourself experiencing feelings of jealousy, what do you know for sure?

You know you have lost your center and your personal power in the moment and your self esteem is very low. Then do something about that, rather than look for evidence to make you right.

If you are choosing to be conscious and live in present time where the power is, jealousy is a field of energy that immediately lets you know you are out of balance and need to address something inside yourself before you go out and share your personal reality as a victim with the world.

You always create relationships that mirror your parents’ behavior?

Why…because when you were born, your parents represented God to you. They were all powerful in your life. They represented your protection from the big bad world, your sustenance, and became your role models, no matter what they did or how badly they treated you.

They became less God-like as you grew older but whatever they felt about you is what you think God thinks about you! There’s the big problem…right there.

What do you think God thinks about you?

Are you in fear of being exposed as a fraud? Do you trust yourself? Jealous behavior always has it’s origin in the low self esteem of the accuser.

On two separate occasions in my life, men (both Taureans, since they are the ones that move from devotion to dedication to obsession in three easy leaps) wanted to physically kill me because they were jealous. On both occasions, they had absolutely no reason to be since I am far more interested in my creativity than creating outside relationships.

It was transference.

I discovered much later it was they who had been unfaithful and were feeling so guilty they were making it up in their heads. They convinced themselves that I must be guilty of the same behavior…only they didn’t know about it yet!

On both occasions, which were years apart, (my patterns of abuse were obviously still interlocked and unresolved) I was astounded at where their minds went and what they thought I was capable of. For example, it was dawn on New Years Day and we had been up all night at a party. The kids would be awake soon and I wanted to swim in the ocean before they did. I walked down to the beach at the end of our yard in Bungan, Sydney. I was blissfully swimming in the cool water when I looked back up the sand to see my partner walking towards me down the steep incline, almost marching. Every now and then, I kept thinking it wasn’t him since he had a strange stiffness to him as he walked.

When he got to me, I came out of the water to greet him. He grabbed me and shouted with deep hurt and rage in his voice that he had seen me from the veranda. I was flirting with that fellow over there. He pointed to a male swimmer about thirty yards away that I had hardly noticed. “I saw you. You were swimming in the ocean with another man!” (He was so distracted, he honestly said that.) He then proceeded to attempt to strangle me in front of a gathering crowd. Some helpful people pulled him off me. I was in absolute shock. This event showed me a great deal about the mind and how it can destroy our peace in a moment if we allow it to be in the service of our fragile egos.

What do you make right? What do you project? Who do you trust?